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Power In Truth.. I was raised Catholic, although there was little evidence of God in our home. I attended a Catholic school also, and mass several times a week, as well as confession. I was christened, confirmed, the whole nine yards...but I always felt something was wrong...there seemed to be a foreboding presence of something not quite right there, and so I was relieved at the age of 13 when I began to attend school in the public school system. I did not retain anything learned of the Catholic religion, and I certainly did not live a godly life...God was something very remote in my mind, although I did believe he existed. I had a child and a failed marriage at the age of twenty. I became an alcoholic and had another child out of wedlock by age 24. By the age of 28, I was living in an ungodly relationship, had another child, and was a full-blown alcoholic who also suffered from severe depression. I was also an occassional drug user, although I didn't do any "hard" drugs. My life was a mess...I took steps to improve it..I went to college, got a degree, participated in self-help programs for depression and alcoholism...but nothing seemed to do much good...I still felt very unfulfilled. At the age of 32, my boyfriend of 9 years had allowed me to become a stay-at-home mom...and I was bored. But since I was at home all day, and all the children were in school most of the day..I discovered TV...and the one thing I discovered on TV was TV evangelism. I don't really remember much about what these people had to say...but what I do remember noticing at that point was their joy, their zeal, their peace, and happiness. This was enticing to me. I dug out an old bible, and began to read...although I understood nothing of what I read...and my atheist boyfriend didn't help much although he was tolerant of my curiosity. During this time, people began to cross my path to tell me about God, Jesus, salvation. But I would not hear them...I had a very large fear. A fear of being mislead. I looked around at all the religions, and I knew they could not all be right..for they differed so much. Now, the frequency of people crossing my path was increasing to the point I could not even go to the convenience store at 3AM without hearing about Jesus! Finally, I decided to talk to God..I told God I wanted to know him, but I didn't want to be mislead..I wanted truth and truth only! Well, my relationship fell apart, I moved out, my children were scattered as I didn't really have a suitable place to go. I was living amidst drug dealers, drug addicts, even though by this point, I had been relieved of my alcoholism Even in my ignorance...I had prayed for deliverance from this terrible thing..and God was faithful to deliver me. During these times I suffered through many situations...poverty...hunger...emotional abuse...family separation..sickness...despair..but I think the worst thing I suffered through was a feeling of hopelessness... I had come to the realization that there must be something better..and I had also come to the conclusion it had something to do with God...I mean I couldn't really ignore it anymore. Well, here I was...and things were changing suddenly...I started a business, and was doing well, saving money for my own place to live. One day my friend whom I was living with, wanted to go out...and so I agreed. She drank, I drove:). I met a man that night that was soon to become the most influential human being I had known. For some reason, I felt I could trust this man, and although he did some things that eventually led to hurt in my life, I will be eternally grateful to God for using this man to lead me to him. He encouraged me to read, encouraged me to pray...assured me that God heard my prayers..he answered my incessant barrage of questions day and night...and he was patient and kind in his guidance. I was able to obtain a home, paid for...and restore my family. I was very zealous in my search for God, for his understanding, for his truth..and God is faithful to reveal these things to me. The first year of my new life, I read as much as I could..I prayed about everything I read..but it wasn't until almost a year later that the understanding began to come...and it was so wonderful...a feeling I can not describe...I was looking through my bible, and all of a sudden it was like a great understanding overcame me..everything I looked at just seemed to make sense, come alive, I was leafing through pages one after another, seeing the truth jumping out at me in blaring reality! And soon after many other exciting things began to happen to me in my spiritual walk...I have seen things that have awed me, felt things which I have never felt. Attained spiritual treausures in abundance...God has come into my heart, my life, my whole being...awakened me spiritually...recreated me! Revived me! The peace and joy in having a relationship with God is awesome...more than I could ever have hoped for in my previous life...and for this I continue to seek more of him. I am convinced that anyone who is a DILIGENT SEEKER of God can obtain this and much more...for his treasures are endless. I will not say I have not had trials since my new life began, but with the love and peace and comfort of the Holy Spirit, I have been able to face these trials head-on with no fear, no turmoil, no doubt! It is so wonderful to see the goodness of God, and experience it's healing power in your life. I no longer suffer from depression, alcoholism, drug addiction, anger, turmoil...these things God has replaced with a transformed mind and spirit in me. .
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